An Extra Run to Relieve the Stress

One of the boys from St. Charles is really beginning to understand and internalize the way running can help him handle stress.  This little guy, whom I will call Jimmy, has lived in more than 12 foster homes in his short life, and is getting ready to move into yet another one.  Needless to say, he is agitated.  Since he has not yet experienced a permanent home that was right for him, he has a lot of anxiety about moving to this next home.  The way he sees it, why should he expect this home to be any different from the others?

Last week, Jimmy asked Sister Maximilian if he could go with her on her second run.  Ordinarily Sister Maximilian runs 8 miles a day.  The first 4 miles are with the more experienced group of kids who run a little faster.  The second 4 miles are with beginners.  Ordinarily, she would not allow a child to run 8 miles in one day. However, given Jimmy's level of stress and the fact that he was asking for the extra time running, she approved.  Jimmy had a great run and one of the nicest evenings he has had in a while. Sister was excited because this showed that he really is starting to understand how running can affect the way he feels.  We don't know if he will ask for an extra run again, but  if he does, Sister will allow him to put in an extra 4 miles every once in a while.  Hopefully, this will be a lesson he takes with him into adulthood to help him cope with the stresses of life.

Sister Maximilian & the St. Charles Kids Step into Barefoot Running

It was an historical day last week when Sr. Maximilian and the kids from St. Charles officially started to experiment with barefoot running.  Not to worry:  they are proceeding slowly and carefully and they won't ever be seen running through the streets of Rochester without shoes, lest they get cut by broken glass somewhere along their route.  Except Sister Maximilian, that is.  She might find she likes this barefoot experience so much that she invests in Vibram Fivefingers the way I did.  Time will tell.  When I return to New Hampshire in a few weeks I fully intend to tantalize her with mine.

Here is how it all got started:  Sister has been as intrigued as I am about the barefoot running phenomenon in the running world.  Last week, she decided to try an experiment with the kids.  Our kids run 50 minutes a day, 5-6 days a week.  On this historic day she decided to shorten the run by 5 minutes, and then at the end give the kids an opportunity to run barefoot in the yard.  Kids who didn't want to try barefoot running were welcome to run their final 5 minutes around our driveway:  a track we often use in the winter when the sidewalks are not plowed.

No one chose that option, however.  Everyone wanted to take their shoes off and run in the grass.  The kids absolutely loved it, and Sister Maximilian admitted she enjoyed it too.  Our yard is a large rectangle.  One circle around the yard is roughly 1 tenth of a mile.  We have great turf in that yard because of the irrigation system that keeps it well watered.  As an aside, another group of athletes paid to renovate our yard about 10 years ago: a group of students from St. Anselm's College who walk 100 miles each year in a program called "Road for Hope" to raise money for various charities.

The kids are now running barefoot for 5 minutes twice a week.  Sister Maximilian will assess whether and when they are ready to increase the barefoot time.  In the meantime, those 10 minutes a week sound like a lot of fun.

The Difficulties some Children Face

We all have difficulties to face.  I often find it helps me to look at people who have much worse troubles than I do.  Then my own challenges do not seem hard to face at all.  One of the children from St. Charles taught me that lesson recently.  For the sake of her privacy, I will call her Amy.  Amy has lived at St. Charles for more than 4 years.  She received a brain injury early in life, and as a result has some developmental delays.  Her behaviors are very difficult to manage, to say the least.  But like many difficult children, Amy has a loving side.  What she has wanted, more than anything else in the world, is a family.  Over the years she has watched friends come and go at St. Charles.  No other child living at the Home right now has lived there as long as Amy has.

The good news finally came about a month ago:  The perfect family had been found!  They had adopted kids with disabilities in the past, and had the skill to work with Amy and  her disabilities.  Amy was on the top of the world.  Whenever she would meet anyone, the first thing she would say was, "I have a family!"  The sisters and staff shared her excitement, because this family really was a perfect match for Amy.

Then the family experienced an unexpected and shocking tragedy and the situation obliged them to have to move far away.  They could not continue in the process of adopting Amy.  This was not the family's fault:  no one could have foreseen the events that forced them to change their plans.  Since saying goodbye to that family, Amy now says, "Maybe some day some family will take me."  She still has some hope.

Since coming to St. Charles 21 years ago, I have seen situations like this over and over.  I can say with confidence that some day I will be writing another blog post about Amy, talking about the new family that the state found for her.  I am sure in the end the sisters will be able to look back on this interrupted placement and recognize good that came out of the fact that Amy had to wait longer for a family.  But try to explain that to a child.  Amy's is  a story in progress.  Her story reminded me this week to be deeply grateful for my own family, and for the stability I had as a child. So many children have no idea what it is like to live in a loving family.

A Father Son Story

After writing on fatherhood last week, I was delighted to come across a blog post by Noah Moore with a wonderful father/ son running story.  They wanted to be the first father & son to run over the newly renovated Ben Sawyer Bridge.  I quote:


"The bridge is not that big, but it is special.  It is an icon of the Low Country (anyone who has seen pictures of Charleston during Hugo will recognize it as the bridge that was turned on its side).

It felt awesome being there with my son, knowing that we were the first father and son to ever cross that span.  As we turned to go back over the bridge, my son looked at me and said, "You are the best dad in the whole world!".  It was one of those moments that can not be scripted, can not be artificially constructed, there was pure joy and excitement in his voice.  This was an adventure."


Mind you, their first attempt to cross that bridge was after 10 PM the night before, when the bridge was supposed to open.  When it got too late and the bridge did not open, they came back the next morning.  I love this story not only because it involves running, but because a dad and his son are on a mission together.  It reminds me of adventures I had with my Dad when I was a little girl, such as skiing down a new, untried trail or hiking in the woods to see a beaver dam.  


Parents, don't worry if you can't afford to take your kids to Disney World (or Disney Land ... I am living on both coasts right now).  It is the little adventures that are important.

The Blessing of a Father

Last week at John Paul the Great Catholic University where I am studying full time, I witnessed a most beautiful thing.  One of my professors, Michael Barber, was erasing the board when his wife and two children arrived.  The oldest, Michael Jr., is about one and a half.  As soon as he saw his dad from across the room, he ran and jumped into his arms, and there were squeals of laughter as his dad tossed him around a bit.  It was a scene very familiar to families with young children.  To me, it was poignant for another reason.

At St. Charles Children's Home, many of the children do not have dads in the picture.  If there is a father in their lives, he may be a frightening figure. However, in many cases, he is just not there.  I have parented so many children at the Home who have no idea what it is like to have a loving father!  I have heard a phrase used to describe this phenomenon:  the "fatherless generation."  Actually we seem to be on our second fatherless generation now... At the Children's Home we have many male volunteers who serve as role models and father figures to our kids.  This helps, because the Sisters can do many things for these children, but we can't be fathers!

For any Dad who may be reading, please know how important you are!  Even when times are difficult and you may get discouraged, you are an anchor to your children.  Without you, there would be a void in your children's lives that is difficult to repair.